Monday, August 25, 2014

: Elephant Stew : Recipe

This recipe won 3rd place in Better Huts and Pastures. Talk about yum!

Ingredients:

1 medium elephant
2 (50 gallon) containers broth
200 pounds of potatoes
50 pounds yellow onions
50 pounds stalks of celery
100 pounds carrots
100 pounds of barley
10 cups salt
30 bay leaves
50 dashes of black pepper
100 smidgens of cayenne pepper
*Garnish with basil, if desired.
* Yields 500 servings.

Directions:

1. Cut elephant into bite-size pieces. Best to use a chainsaw for the larger pieces until a manageable size can be chopped with a knife. This takes about 2 weeks. Throw away that part that is never wasted, and yet eaten by locals. You know what I'm talking about.
2. Meanwhile, chop up veggies into bite size pieces.
3. Using a lot of large kettles, simmer equal parts elephant and vegetables with enough broth to cover.

3. Bring soup to a boil, add spices and simmer for two days. Stir as needed.
4. Skim off any fat that floats to the top. It can be used for soap, cooking oil, lotion, and furniture stain remover. 
5. If you find that the meat is tough, trying eating it while standing on your head. Best eaten two hours before bed, mineral oil to follow. Enjoy!





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