BEHOLD my fellow foodies... I come to you as an enlightened being. This past Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving, I sought out to create the TURDUCKEN of all desserts.
The PieCAKEN. 😱
Sweatpants wouldn't have prepared me for the MEGA feast of sugar, carbs, fat, and fabulous that I was going to chow down on.
I didn't just partake of the decadently rich cake/pie abomination. Oh, no, I baked it. I labored away, one mad scientist to another. Layering, building, laughing insanely, I constructed this sugary confection with wild and gleeful eyes.
Once the frosted monolith was erected... it weighed 15 pounds. ⚖
My tummy grumbled.
FEED me Seymore FEED me.
The bottomless pit of gastrointestinal demands wouldn't be happy with just a slice. One can't simply have just a slice of destruction.
I sliced and served myself, a WEDGE of DESTRUCTION. #mauhahahahah
Cutting through all the layers, the knife trembled.
"Oh, dear lord, think of the calories," my thighs screamed to my irrational gut.
"Silence," roared stomach. "This doesn't concern you."
Delirium swept over my taste buds. They didn't just eat it. They ATTACKED it.
They had been championing with stomach all along. Booth in culinary cohorts with one another, they masticated their way into sweet, sweet, nirvana.
The collateral was amazing. Never had one experienced the flavors of apple pie filling, cinnamon cake, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie all in one.
Stomach laughed in hysterics, "I want MORE."
Brain, thoroughly disgusted with the actions of mouth and stomach went on vacation. Good riddance you 'ol twat.
My body wage war for the next couple of days over the poor decisions of stomach and mouth. Colon finally chimed in and that put an end to it.
So entirely worth it. #yummmmm
PieCAKEN has now become a forever Thanksgiving MUST have. I encourage everyone to build their own tower of absolute nonsense and savor every yummy bite.
#piecaken #foodies #piecakepiecake #FaublousCandace
💖😋
No comments:
Post a Comment