Friday, December 18, 2020
Friday, December 4, 2020
Smells Like RANCH DRESSING--- the New Teen Spirit
Ranch Dressing...
Have you ever googled Ranch Dressing? Perhaps I should back up and start off my tale from the beginning.
My jacket smelled like Ranch Dressing. All day whiffs of hidden valley haunted me. Carpool, *sniff, sniff,* What IS that smell? RANCH. Is that Ranch??
I smell like
R
A
N
C
H
Dressing?
The aroma was so faint and yet, highly accurate. All day long I was smelling Ranch Dressing. I was disgusted and yet equally intrigued. What kind of strange voodoo is this?
After the day had come and shoveled out the various amounts of hell of parenthood and it's daily battles on me.. I found myself wrecked and relaxing in bed. Oh, blissful time that I cherish. I luuurv my bed.
The smell of Ranch Dressing had left but the annoyance of smelling it all day hadn't. Phone, quickly, on the double.
GOOGLE:
Why
do I
SMELL
like
RANCH Dressing?
The wise Buddha that has answers for everything replied and here were the results. My screen shots. #cheese 📸
Ranch Dressing Sucks and I'm Not Sorry. Clearly.
Ranch Dressing is not Good and Never will be. Is this source reliable?
7 Reasons Why you should NEVER eat Ranch Dressing. Okay, okay, let's not be too judgmental you stuck-up condiment twats.
10 Weird Facts You didn't Know about Ranch Dressing. On a scale from 1-10 how weird we talking about..... cause, I can get pretty damn weird.
Something Smells like Ranch Dressing and It's Driving me INSANE. I can relate.
Ranch Dressing is What's WRONG with America- The Washington Post. Oh, SNAP.
A Sophomore Reveals Unusual Phobia on Ranch Dressing. The hell?
Apparently, there are MANY people who don't just hate Ranch Dressing... they are PASSIONATE about hating it. Give me fire or give me death... but do not give me Ranch Dressing. 🗡
Why all the hate? 🤔
I've dipped tons of flavorless food in Ranch Dressing in order to choke it down.
Cold, stale pizza....
D
U
N
K..... mmmmm, much better.
Jewish food..... pass the Ranch Dressing, pleeeeease.
If anything Ranch Dressing is what makes being an American great. Okay, it's kinda tacky when the bottle is placed on a dinner table that has been set nicely. But, WE ALL thank the person who puts it there. 🙏
The Hidden Valley of yumminess. That flavorful, pungent zing, with that unmistakable tang... what a dressing it is. King of Dressings.... Maybe even SUPREME RULER OF DRESSINGS. Nah.
Ranch is also the gateway condiment into getting children to eat their vegetables.
"I'll put a whole dollop on your plate if you eat your broccoli.... JUST eat your broccoli."
Is Ranch Dressing really what's wrong with America? Will knowing those 10 weird facts prove that? Maybe.
If Fear Factor had all the contestants gargle down Ranch Dressing by the gallons as a challenge... would they be horrified and refuse to participate? What is the moral limit of Ranch Dressing? We need to know. There is a Sophomore that is having an existential crisis over this. Will somebody please THINK of the CHILDREN?!?!?
Hell if I know. I like the stuff.... but I wouldn't marry it. It's Ranch, you twat.
I never did figure out why my jacket smelled like Ranch Dressing.... and from the internet searches... that's the least of my worries. 10 weird facts have proven that.
#RanchDressing #FabulousCandace #SmellLikeRanchDressing #RanchDressingHate
🥗😋
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