People Magazine featured an article where Blake Shelton was horn tooting that he lost 40 lbs. by using Keto pills.
A diet pill that cohost Kelly Clarkson from The Voice, recommended to her chubby-growing country singer friend, Blakey.
Blake due to coronie season had started drinking more and more and cramming his pie hole with snacks. In needing to take his health serious, he turned to Keto.
Oh, the magic and glory of these pills. Not only did they work for Kelly, but they are offering a free bottle. All you pay for is shipping.
Blake jumped on the bandwagon of slimming promises and beamed brightly when the pills started working. Not only did they work, but one doesn't even need to change their diet. What luck.
The article had a link of the magic company, that Blake shined and shouted for.
Free pills. Only pay for shipping. Lose weight. No need to change one's diet. Heck yes. Order those unicorn pills. Done.
They came.
Starting weight.... I won't post that. However, I did brave the scale and scream.
1st week... lost 3 pounds.
2nd week... gained those pounds back.
3rd week... lost 3 pounds.
4th week... nothing changed.
It had dawned on me that weighing myself first thing in the morning, is ideal with an empty stomach. I weigh less. I also learned that if I weigh myself not only in the morning but after a mighty colon cleanse... I do indeed weigh less. 😁
The pills did nothing. My weight increase and decrease are my normal body habits. Dash it all.
The first of the month rolls around and the Keto company that gave me a bottle of broken promises, charged my account. Not only did they charge me a RIDICULOUS amount but they bent me over and stuck it to me. #DeathtoKETO
Ooooooh, hell no.
Blake Shelton, that country singing twat lied to me. These Keto pills are spawned by the same sick folks that actually listen to country music. They take your money and deliver on good faith pure and utter bullshit. #BLAKESUCKSASS
People Magazine had taken down the article of Blake Shelton tap dancing like a dipshit for the Keto pills. The company that swindled hundreds of dollars from people have vanished.
I filed a claim with my bank of the fraudulent charges. I didn't stop there. Oh, no. I wrote to People Magazine.
As a PISSED CONSUMER I filed a report about the article. My words like little daggers of truth. Yes, little daggers of non-lost-fat-pounds flung at People Magazine. 🗡
The face of these blackened lies. The face of my dark misfortune, Blake. His perfect smile, mocked my vulnerability in believing that maybe there are magic pills that make one lose weight while still eating beloved foods. 🍕🥮🧉
No. These aren't those pills. These are the pills that will make you definitely lose. You'll lose your money. You'll lose your dignity. You'll absolutely lose any kind of love towards country music and that git Blake Shelton.
I know one thing, Mama Oprah wouldn't stand for this. No sir.
Right now, there is another article where Blake is championing another weight loss pony. Foreskins. 😂
Okay, okay, he hasn't been shoveling down foreskins as a weight loss routine. Oh, the delicious hilarity. The weight loss product is called Forskolin. Close enough, right?
In reading this second online article, it gives the same promises as the Keto pills. The article even has a link to give their product a whirl. DO NOT DO IT.
USE CODE “BLAKE20”
To Save 20% OFF your bottle of Forskolin!
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... shame on you again. #BlakeEATSFORESKINS
Be on the lookout for Keto pills and Foreskin pills, Forskolin pills. Those bottles are filled with little white pills and they are all giving you the finger.
#GiveTheFingerBack #BlakeSheltonSucksAss #PeopleMagazineSuckABigOne #FabulousCandace
#KetoCrooks #KetoPill💊
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